You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize