wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
