And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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