meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
