Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
