are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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