I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
