Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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