I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
