party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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