Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Who died my cat blue again?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
