Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
