i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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