OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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