is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
