He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
