Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
