he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
