Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
