i just wanna soil my oats bro
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
