dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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