weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
