Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
