he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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