Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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