She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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