I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
