Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize