So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
