This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
