Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
