thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
