I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
