you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
