great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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