the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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