If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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