So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize