there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
NoShamevember. You game?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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