party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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