Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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