Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
