Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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