Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
