Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
My feet surprised me
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
