after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize