I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
