if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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