please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
