Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
