Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
