3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize