is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My dick has a subreddit
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
