Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
