yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
