before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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