I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
