I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
