I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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