Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
