I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
