Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
